Scared

Tomorrow is our first doctor's appointment and I am just a teeny bit scared. Scared of the unknown. Scared of what I might find out. Maybe I am just overly negative? I have found myself consumed with reading pregnancy message boards and I'm not going to lie, they freaked me out a little bit. Talk of spotting and miscarriage, and so on has really left me feeling like, what am I going to do if that happens to me? I would be crushed.

So I am asking that you pray for me. That I have a good appointment and if God is feeling generous, to let us hear the heartbeat. Please pray that my next four weeks go by smoothly and that we enter our second trimester healthy and happy. :)

Now, I think it is important of me to be honest (especially since I am asking you to pray for me) but I have taken a break from.....welll......from church. It's not that I have taken a break from God because while I have stopped going to church, I haven't stopped believing. I still believe in what the Bible says and all that I learned from my Christian upbringing but I just have been....well...for lack of a better word, mad. Mad that my friend had to die. Mad that there are no answers. Mad that I am suppose to just accept and not allowed to seek answers. It's been a rough going for several months now. But lately, and espeically since finding out I am pregnant, I really want to go back to church. To hear the Word. To worship with others. To bring our baby into a Christian home where it learns the values and morals that I learned as a child. To take our child to Sunday School and vacation Bible School and church camp. I want to become a better Christian. My problem---I don't know where to start. The church in which I was raised is simply not the church for me. I'd like to find something more contemporary and youthful. And fun. Do you think a church like this exists? And if so, where can I find it?